"Where is God calling you?"

I had someone ask me, "Where is God calling you?" It's hard for me to answer this question. I see God's calling a little differently than most: I don't think God's calling for my life (or anyone's life) is any one job or career in particular. Rather, I think it's more of a role. Some key thing God can use you for wherever you go.

Worth

Worth. When something has usefulness or importance, it has worth. Worth can be subjective; some people may see worth in something while others do not. Feeling worthless can be painful and make you not want to be friends with anyone. We all want to be worth something, and ultimately we want to be worth something to God.

Music's Secret Weapon

Music comes in all sorts of forms, and people tend to "group" others into categories and stereotypes based on what kind of music they listen to. Some like music because of how it sounds, others like music because of the lyrics. Ultimately though, everyone likes music for how it makes them feel, even if they don't admit it, or even realize it. This, is music's secret weapon.

Looking Forward

So I decided to start blogging again last week. Turns out writing, and blogging by dint of being writing (not of being fish people), is an activity I gain energy from. Everyone has these "rejuvenating" activities: something that makes you feel energized and accomplished. For some people, spending time with a group of friends or in a large mass of people can be energizing (Confession time: that's totally me). For others, spending time alone thinking or reading will do the trick. There's all sorts of activities that can fit the bill, and while most people have many that might do the trick, they don't spend enough time doing those things. That being said, blogging/writing, although technically a "secluded" activity, is me connecting with other people through what I write, and it gives me energy.

Writing, spending time with friends, talking with my brother, working with computers, teaching, listening to orchestral music (eg. soundtracks from movies, tv shows, and video games); these are the things that give me energy. Luckily for me, blogging incorporates 3 of these: writing, working with computers, and listening to orchestral music. And though I may be blogging for my own personal reasons, if what I say can help other people grow, then that's great! (It's also teaching, and therefore energizing :D)

You've probably noticed that some things have changed here on my blog. And although it will stay the way you see it now here, eventually my blog will move to my own website... once I move some numbers around, get the site started, and then create time-travel. So, you know, maybe in a couple weeks.

On to the title of the post: Looking Forward. I'm not one for setting long-term goals, at least not in the way most people might set goals, but I still take time to look ahead and see where my life is going. With a similar thought in mind, one of the people I work with asked me recently if I had "found my niche." For those of you who don't know, I currently work with Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF), a world-wide organization that shares the gospel with children and helps them to grow in their faith. One of the ministries we use to do just that is Good News Club, where children can come after school and learn Bible verses, hear a Bible lesson, sing songs, play games, and have fun while learning more about God. And it was after a Good News Club this week that one of the volunteers asked me about my niche.

In a way, I have found my niche, but I'm not sure if it's where God is going to have me stay. With CEF I can teach children (which I enjoy), work with computers (which is sorely needed), and spend time with friends. It also happens to be fulfilling the Great Commission that Christ gave us. And to tell the truth, usually when I have a day off from work... I'd rather be at work. But I'm not sure if it's where God wants me to stay. Sure, it's where He wants me to be, but is it where He wants me to stay? Honestly, I don't know.

Looking forward, I know that something's going to have to change, as my annual income is nowhere near what it needs to be to support myself, let alone a family. But when that change will come? No idea. Maybe I'll still work with CEF but have a different position. Maybe I'll do something else where I can still use my skills with teaching and computers to be a light for Christ. Right now only God knows.

Now I could ask myself, "If only God knows, shouldn't I keep my mind here, rather than looking ahead?" The answer to that is no. God has called us to keep our eyes on Him and to be responsible with what we have now, yes. But nowhere in the Bible did God say, "you shall not look ahead or plan." Rather He said in James 4:15, "Instead, you should say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.'" So yes, look ahead, plan, but focus not on the plan, focus on God. If God brings you to follow your plan, cool. If you find He has a different plan, follow His instead of yours.

Remember: God's plan is best! No matter what it is, or how it looks, His plan is the best. God is all-powerful and all-knowing; to say that He doesn't know best is to doubt one of these truths. So if you take anything away from reading this, may it be that you trust that God's plan is best!

I plan to post about once a week, hopefully on a specific day, so if you want to keep reading more of my crazy writings, keep an eye out for a new post each week.

Godspeed,

Jason

Forward Motion

Today I decided it was time. Time to move on. I wasn't holding on... but I hadn't moved on yet.

If you've read my previous posts here, you'll remember my posts regarding finding the right door, finding the right puzzle pieces, etc. In case it wasn't apparent or you didn't figure it out already, many of those posts were about marriage. Yup, you read that right (I may have mentioned this before, but I can't remember). Unlike some people may believe, I do actually put a lot of thought into who I might spend my life with. I know and believe that God is all I need, and I'm in no rush to get married, but being able to lead someone else further in their walk and help them become all that God wants them to be... is something I'm looking forward to.

Back in 2011 I met a wonderful girl named Karis. We had a number of things in common, and as time progressed I felt positive that she would be a great wife (and I still think so now). But for reasons unknown, things fell apart between us and our relationship ended a few months after. I wouldn't be surprised if the fault lay with me for what happened, but it is what it is.

A long time passed after that, but I never really let go of my feelings for her. Something in me just felt wrong leaving her. I finally decided to put my feelings for her aside one day, but even now her name, picture, heck even things that smell like her bring back those feelings and my life becomes a wreck for about an hour.

That's where things changed today. Or at least slightly. If its not going to be her and I together, than its obviously going to be someone else. And if I'm going to help that someone become the best they can be, I can't be turning into an emotional wreck whenever someone says the name "Karis." So from now on I'm going to work on changing that. Memories are memories: they'll pretty much always be there. But I can change how much those affect me and the others around me. I can move on. (Not by myself, of course, but with God's help.)

Going forward, I can say that I've learned a lot about relationships from the time Karis and I had together. And to be perfectly honest, I think things could still work out between us. But that's not my decision to make, its God's. All I can do is follow Him and trust Him to bring me to the right spouse.

Guys, that's all you can do, too. God knows what He's doing; He knows all about you and the best matches for you. Keep your eyes on Him and let Him bring you to your future spouse.

Godspeed,

Jason

Hope...

     It's been awhile since I've posted here, and there's two reasons for that. First, I've been busy. Second...well, I haven't really had anything to say. God's been trying to get the same lesson into my head for awhile now, and I think I've finally figured it out. God's plans may not change, but our actions can slow those plans down. And it's been my actions that He's been refining. My heart was in the right place...but it's only now that my actions finally match fully. I know, I know...not much detail, but that's not why I'm posting. I'm posting because of our hope.

     Hope is not, "Oh, I hope I get my favorite toy for Christmas!" That's a wish. Hope is an assurance of things to come in the future. We place our hope in Christ, for we know that in the end, all those who trust in Him will be saved, no matter what disasters may befall us between then and now. As we get closer to that time, grow closer to Him, walk with Him, and really discover what He has for us we start to become more like Him. Those things we hate to do become things of the past and new works are found in our lives: works made possible through God's power.

     That being said, we also have faith. Faith is believing what God says and also doing it. You can't say that you have faith in God and then not do His works. That'd be like telling me you trust a chair to hold you up...but then you won't go sit in that same chair. Faith is basically trust + action.

     Now, when I put faith and hope together...I find something interesting in my life. I trust God, I act upon that trust, and my actions help to instill hope into others. And in particular...there's one instance I can think of where I'm trusting God for something so my actions instill both hope and faith as their main purpose. But it's going to take time. Time to increase hope, to increase faith, to increase trust...and I get the feeling it's going to be a long time.

     Remember, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you place your hope, faith, and trust in Christ! My hope, faith, and trust lie with Him. Without Him, I lose everything, but with Him...perhaps I can find what I've lost...

Free Choice or Trust?

     Wow, almost a whole month since my last blog post. It's been a crazy month, that's for sure. What with Camp Good News preparation, Camp Good News itself, and then 4 days worth of fair ministry shifts during the last 3 weeks. Lots of work...but lots of reward as well. Many children have been reached or encouraged during that time, and I'm happy knowing that I got to be a part of God's work in their lives.

     Beyond ministry, life is actually quite odd for me right now. For some reason all of the things that happened last year at this time are flooding my mind. Pretty much every memory or emotion associated with August of last year and my time at CMI has come up, and they're making it very hard for me to focus on what I'm doing this year.

     Work for CEF of Oregon still hasn't started due to a lack of funding. Although I'm pretty sure God had His hand in that. CEF of Benton County really needed my help this summer, so that at least part of why I'm here rather than there. Of course...God could be trying to lead me in some other direction besides working for CEF of Oregon, but right now I'm not really sure. I do know that I love teaching, I love working on computers, and I love helping people do things they need/want to do. My potential job at CEF of Oregon would be a great place to do all three of those things...but maybe God is leading me elsewhere.

     There's a possibility of me staying on here in Benton County, I could also do some free lance computer work, or might even start working for my church as a tech specialist. But right now, God's not leading me in one certain direction. Now I know some people would say that at this point in my life, since God seems to be backing off and each position would make good use of my talents/gifts/abilities, that I should choose which one I want to take. But I disagree. I know that if I choose, I may not choose the best option. And that does have a reason behind it.

     You see, I believe that no matter what we do in life, God has a preferred choice. Even if it is "up to us" to decide what to do, I believe God still has a choice He would like for us to take, because He knows it would be the best one for us. Now you may say, "If God want's you to make a choice, then you should make one!" But I say no! If God gives me a choice to make, wouldn't it be best to ask Him which one I should choose?

     When it really comes down to it, I don't want to choose where my life goes, and want that to be up to God. Because I know that if it was up to me, I would do things wrong. So...when it comes to trusting God when he tells me to do something, I'm all in. But if I have to make a decision then I have to trust myself...and I don't. I don't trust myself. So really, when some might say that I get to choose between what path I take, I find myself at a point where I must choose to trust God or trust myself. The answer should be obvious: I choose to trust God.

     So...since God isn't giving me a clear direction, and I'm obviously not going to trust myself over God...it looks like I have to wait for God to show me which path to take. And while I wait...I'll just keep doing what He told me to do last: tell kids about Him!