Over the last week, life has drastically changed for me. But at the same time, it hasn't changed at all. If you've been following this blog, or look back at the more recent posts, you'll see talk of steps and how those steps played out. As I type this I can say that those steps were needed and were meant for a purpose...I just don't know what the purpose is yet. In order to better understand what I'm talking about, let's look back at where the steps truly started...
August 2009 is where this series of steps had it's beginning. It was there that I finally decided to man up to what God had called me to do: become the hero that He wanted me to be. I knew what I had to do, but I wasn't able to do it by myself. God didn't expect me to do it all by my lonesome, but I thought I did. It was after this that I attended Cornerstone: School of Ministry (CSOM) at my home church. I received teaching on every aspect of the Bible (although only in small parts, as that's a lot of ground to cover) and got the initial inkling of what things might have been to come. I realized that God had called me into ministry: to be a hero to the children who don't know Christ.
From my first understanding of "The Steps", to now is a total of 18 months. During those 18 months I saw God speak to me like never before. I would ask Him to confirm things through a specific sign, and shortly afterward, there would be that sign. I believed, at the time, that this was proof of a surety of the things asked for, but it was not. I may have had questions for God to answer...but they were vague, and to rely on them would be like relying upon a globe to find my way from my house to Portland. I've come to that realization now...which makes it that much easier for me to understand.
And so, after 18 months of waiting and seeking God on the whole matter, I initiated "The Steps", believing that I knew what was going to happen...I was wrong. What I expected to happen was not even close to what actually went down, and the results sent me reeling. It took some time to settle in, but I've come to realize that God is using everything that He showed me these last 18 months to try and teach me something. Which is what I'm trying to find out.
I think it has something to do with being a hero. Sure I'm a hero to the kids that don't know Jesus, or at least I'm trying to be. But I'm also called to be so much more than that. Now is the time that God is using to mold me into the hero I need to be for my future wife, and future kids. Each area is a little different, but in each I have the same power source: a never-ending, always loving Savior. That's why this blog is named the way it is. The landscape for a hero is his life's circumstances. His power source is the One True God. His purpose is to point others, whether it be his wife, kids or those without Christ, to God's ultimate sacrifice and will for them to grow in Him.
Which brings me back to "The Steps". My life has changed drastically, in that my entire outlook on life has shifted as I've come to understand my own ignorance and lack of faith in my requests to God made over the past 18 months and their eventual epitome. Now I look forward to what God has for me, no matter where it comes from. But at the same time, it really hasn't changed, because nothing has actually "happened".
Although, one other thing has changed. My image of the Stained Glass Door. I've come to understand that what I see through the glass is not something specific, but rather, some of the contents of what the door is guarding. This limits the possibilities, but prevents knowing the exact object until the door is opened.
And so I continue my quest. Although now it is not to find exactly what is behind this Stained Glass Door. Instead I will be searching for whatever I can find that carries the essence of the hidden treasure behind the door, and lifting it up to God in prayer to discern whether or not what I have found is actually what I was looking for.
Becoming the man God wants me to be...
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