Step 2: Completed

     So, another step towards opening the stained glass door was taken Friday. And, although the results were unexpected, Step 3 is still scheduled to happen, just with a slight revision. So, more like a Step 3, revision b. Right now, I really don't know what to think...

     The results of Step 2 were entirely unexpected. I knew of a large amount of possibilities, but, of course, I don't know everything. After Step 2's completion, I was kind of like, "WHAT THE HECK!?!" Debriefing was weird...I mean, I've always had my doubts about what was behind the door, but I trusted in what I believed God had told me. But after the results from Step 2, what God had told me before was pretty much all I had. It made me look back on what had been passed between Him and I.

     It's here that I run into a choice. A choice that I've come across many times in my life. A choice that I'm finally beginning to understand. I can do what I want, what other people want. Or, I can do what God wants.

     In the case of the stained glass door, it has seemed that God had asked, "Jason, what do you want to be behind it?"  I could have chosen anything. But I didn't. I didn't want to choose. To choose, even when God gave me the choice, feels to me as doing what I want, instead of what He wants. And so I turned it around. I answered and said, "What I want behind the stained glass door, is whatever you would like to put there."

     Which leads me back to the steps I'm currently going through. I wanted God to choose what was behind the door. And so He did. And I believe He has told me what He put behind it. So now it comes down to this: do I believe that what God told is true? Or do I side with my personal doubts and the statements of those around me and believe that there is something else behind it?

     Personally, I've chosen to side with what God has said. It may not be what I see around me. It may not be what other people think will happen. But if God has said something will happen, then it will happen, I just need to watch and wait for it to happen.

     EDIT 5/30/11: Well, that didn't end how I expected it. Basically, Step 3 never got under way, at least on my end, because of the intervention of a greater power: God. Like it or not, I'm not at a very dangerous place. Not knowing where to go or whether to trust what God said before, or what He seems to be saying now. I guess it times like these, where you don't think you can trust God anymore, that your trust in Him is strengthened beyond what a normal situation would produce.

     So now I'm left with a new choice. I can believe in what God has told me before, and believe that what He told me is behind the Stained Glass Door is there, or I can believe in what seems to be God now, and expect something else behind the door. Regardless, there is going to be some serious soul searching going on in the next few days. If you are reading this, please pray that God would show what He wants me to do, and that I wouldn't be too stubborn minded to see it.

Step 1: INITIATED

     It has begun. What exactly? Well, let me explain. As many of you have probably read in my blog posts, I've always talked about a stained glass door that has been following me around for awhile now. Of course, this is just an analogy for what is really going on, I don't really have a door floating around behind me. Anyway, I've been feeling that the time to open the door and see what stands behind has been coming closer.

     With some recent developments, I believe that the time to open the door is here. There's a little bit of a process to get this thing open, so I've developed a series of steps to proceed through in order to open the door. Step 1 has already been initiated, and is currently in progress. There are 3 more steps after Step 1 is finished, and should each step go successfully, I'll post the results here. In the meantime, you can see which step I'm currently on by watching my Facebook page.

Best. Weekend. Ever.

     Wow...Friday and Saturday were AMAZING. I mean, sure my car broke down at CYIA Pre-Training, but Pre-Training was the amazing part! Not only do I get to help with worship, but as a Studaff I also got to evaluate a practicum group, help with all sorts of Power Point and computer related issues and lead the devotional time for Saturday morning! Through all of it, God has shown me that this is where I am supposed to be, which is part of the amazing feeling. With the full week of training coming up in June, I can't wait to see what sorts of amazing things happen.

     Speaking of amazing things, I'm going to be a Team Trainer this year. (For those of you who don't know, a Team Trainer is the leader of a group of 3-4 CYIA Students, and may possibly help out with the teaching themselves. A Team Trainer helps the students learn, study and teach the materials used during the CYIA Training Week's 5 Day Club.) I have no idea who is going to be on my team, but I'm super excited to help them grow in God, and experience what it is like to lead a child to Christ.

     In other news, I've received a few posts on facebook saying that some of my status updates are too vague. I'll admit, they are a little scarce of details, but it's best that they stay that way for the time being. It appears that some people have already seen through the "vague updates" and know exactly what I'm talking about, but thankfully they are very trustworthy people and have not dispersed this knowledge to anyone else. For those of you who haven't seen the aforementioned "vague updates", rest assured that all will be revealed in good time. And it really will be in good time, since a lot of this whole thing is hinging on God, just like it should...although some people may disagree. What am I talking about? Just wait and see...